Generation 1, Chapter 36

As Peter waited in the Doctor's office he dwelled upon the events of the past week. He remembered being told the prognosis, cancer, it was what he most feared but expected. When he left the hospital after beginning the chemo regimen he felt both hopeful and scared. He wanted to believe that this would help and he'd be back to his old self in no time, but his body was telling him otherwise. He was still weak, nauseous and shaky a combination of the disease and chemo; although he was no longer in as much pain thanks to the pain meds the doctors had given him.

When they arrived at home the first thing he did was take Jean into his arms and she released all her pent up emotions and tears that she was holding back, trying to be strong for his sake. But slowly losing the battle as reality hit home.

"Honey it'll be alright. I don't know how but I'm sure every thing will work out ok." He said soothingly holding her close.

Sniffling a little Jean pulled away from his embrace angrily saying "I don't see how. How can it be alright if I have to go on without you? How will it be alright that the children will grow up without a father? I don't see how any of this will be alright. I feel like I'm in a dark tunnel and I can't see a way out."

Peter gathered her into his arms as she was convulsed in sobs. She clung to him as if he were her life preserver and she was drowning. Once she gained a modicum of control, she turned to Peter saying "How should we tell the children?"

Hesitating Peter said "I think we should wait until after we see the specialist. I don't know, I keep hoping the doctor here is wrong."

Jean looked at Peter in concern "Peter you know they're not. I don't want you getting your hopes up or mine. I, I don't think I could go through this again."

"Honey I know what the odds are but don't take my hope away. Without hope, what's the point of going to see the specialist? Without hope why even start treatment, if it's all for nothing? Please Jean, don't give up on me! As long as I have you and the kids rooting for me, I'm going to fight this thing all the way to the end. Just don't tell me it's hopeless because without hope I may as well just curl up and die now."

"Ok, ok you're right" Jean agreed shakily. "But I still think the kids need to know. We can't leave them in the dark, it'll hurt but it's better they know than left in the dark."

"You're right I know, it's just that I don't want them worrying and being scared."

"They'll be less scared knowing the truth than leaving it up to their imaginations."

As Peter waited for his turn, he tried to focus on anything other than the appointment. He just wanted to wake up from this nightmare and go on with his life. He tried not asking why, why him? But there was no answer, it just was and he had to deal with it the best way he could. His mind went back to the day they told the kids.

I remembered how they had so much to do and arrange before coming here and he was thankful that Jean did most of the work while he rested. Jean requested a babysitter to watch Elliot and she even went so far as to call Vallari and ask her to check on the kids every so often while they were gone. Peter would have preferred her not knowing they were planning on being gone but Jean made it sound like they were going on a vacation instead of a doctors visit. Jean felt that Adam would need all the help he could get and Vallari was just across the street and she was technically their mother. She just couldn't comprehend that Vallari had no concept of what being a mother meant. It was amazing that Vallari even agreed and Peter couldn't help but wonder what she was planning. Peter mostly just hoped for the best and relied on Adam's common sense.

That evening they gathered the children together and gave them the sad news. They were shocked into silence and saddened into tears. No one knew what to say until Adam broke the silence asking what was on everyone's minds "Can this specialist help?"

"Honestly we don't know but he has had some success. Adam there are no guarantees, we can only hope." Jean said smiling at Peter as she said it.

"I understand everyone is scared but I promise you that I'm going to fight this with everything I have. But you all have to help. Keep a positive attitude, be good and listen to Adam while we're gone. I'm counting on you to do this and I know you can." Peter said sounding confident and knowing he was only partially successful as he looked at this children's faces.

"Mr Van Winkle the doctor will see you now" receptionist broke into his thoughts.

Peter tried not to jump when he heard his name called. He looked towards his wife who tried to smile encouragingly. As they got up to follow the receptionist he felt Jean take his hand as they walked into the doctor's office.

Meanwhile Adam was trying to maintain a positive attitude, setting the example for everyone else. Although inwardly he was worried about his dad and every night his nightmare repeated itself. All the kids were crying and clinging to him as Vallari laughed like a maniac when she tells them their father is dead. He always awakens at this point shaking and crying. He hoped with all his being that the specialist would come up with a miracle but he knew deep down that he wouldn't and his nightmare would come true.

It didn't help that Vallari was over every night. Through Windy she found out that Peter was seeing a specialist for cancer and not expected to live. So Vallari would come over  and tell everyone how they were going to come and live with her once their dad was dead and she would finally have what she wanted most, money. She would have control of their inheritance until they were eighteen, Adam very much doubted that anything would be left once she was done with it. There goes his dreams of going to college and becoming the Pioneer in Robotics. He would have to stay at home to help his siblings survive Vallari's care taking. No matter how much Adam tried to stop Vallari from talking about this in front of the kids, she continued as if she enjoyed causing them pain. After she would leave he spent hours dealing with the aftermath, the tears, the crying, the nightmares until Adam felt exhausted. He couldn't help but wonder why, why couldn't it be Vallari who was dying from cancer? Why his dad? Life was so unfair!

Then one day at school Adam was congratulated for the party he was planning while his parents were out of town. He was told everyone was coming and looking forward to it. This was news to Adam and not something he wanted to deal with. He was already stressed out to the max and he knew that Vallari would call the cops, who would call his parents, who already had too much to deal with.

He knew exactly who was responsible. "How could you invite all these people to our house for a party?" Adam demanded of Windy on the way home on the bus.

"You can't honestly be mad at me. I did you a favor. It'll be fun."

"This is the last thing I would call fun. My parents have enough to deal with for goodness sakes." Adam hissed at Windy.

"Oh get real, your parents won't know anything about it."

"You know as well as I do that Vallari will call the cops and then they will know."

"No she won't. Who do you think helped me plan the party? All you need to do is pick up the decorations, decorate the house and order the food."

"Oh is that all!" Adam said barely containing his anger.

"Well yes. I did everything else. Invitations for all these people was a lot of work."

Adam wondered what he should do. He didn't want to cause his parents more worry but a party might be a good way to distract everyone from what's been going on, besides it was Brian's and Elliot's birthday and they weren't going to have a party otherwise. That's it he would turn Windy's wild teen party into a double birthday party. That would foil Windy's plans and doing something nice for his brothers on their birthday.

Windy was none too happy with what Adam did to her party In fact she was livid; especially after hearing remarks from her friends of how lame her party was. She was never going to be able to live this down. She was so embarrassed. It didn't help that Brian kept thanking her for his surprise birthday party.

Brian was sure that everyone had forgotten all about his birthday and he had been pretty depressed about it. Adam was glad he thought of this idea and thanks to Windy he didn't have to worry about Vallari calling the cops. 

Adam styled Elliot's hair and couldn't help but notice how much he looked like his Dad. Adam just hoped his Dad was around long enough to teach him the important things in life like he had taught him. If not Adam knew he would have to and he would have to help Jean as much as he could too. He knew that would be what his Dad would want and he didn't want to let him down.

Brian became a teenager and he had a strong resemblance to his dad although his eyes were a strong reminder of who his mother was. He gained the vehicle enthusiast trait and was rather disappointed when he didn't receive a car for his birthday. But Adam reminded him he would receive his birthday gift once his parents came home, so he was still hopeful. He was thankful to Adam for giving him this surprise birthday party. He knew that Windy thought it was going to be a wild teen party and so he delighted in thanking her for his party. He liked how she would scowl at him every time he thanked her.

Meanwhile Peter had his first radiation treatment that left him feeling worse than he started. He was completely drained of all energy and combined with the chemo he was once again feeling dizzy and nauseous. He was resting in the recovery room while Jean was talking with the doctor.

"The prognosis for your husband isn't good. The best we can hope for is that the cancer will go into remission. The positive thing is it doesn't seem to have spread any where else. Which is amazing considering how advanced the cancer is."

"Is there anything else we can do?" Jean asked

"No we'll want to have him back for regular treatments. The most important thing is to maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes that will keep a person going longer than it would seem possible."

"I understand and thank you."