3.16 Forgiveness and Despair

The following morning Alanon came downstairs. Adam jumped to his feet "well?" he asked anxiety plain in his voice.

Shaking his head Alanon sank into a chair. "I'm sorry I can't do anything for him. I need access to all of my serums and potions."

Stunned Adam paced the room "that's it then. We have to go back to Moonlight Falls."

"No absolutely not," Beverly protested.

Eyeing her coldly Adam snorted choosing to ignore her protests. "We need to back there anyway. It's the only place we can separate Ambrogio from me. We need to stop Alessandro for good. Put him out of power." Turning to Alanon "are there enough people to support us in a revolt against Alessandro?"

Nodding "I think so. More people will join once we start rallying people to stand up and fight. They are tired of Alessandro. They're ready for his heir to take over." Looking at Adam "are you ready?"

"No," he mumbled "but what choice do I have? My son needs help. I'll anything to see he gets the help he needs."

"Adam no," Beverly cried "I won't let you throw your life away like this. Not when we know how to cure your vamperism. You don't have to do this."

"You're the reason why I have to do this," he hissed at her "if it weren't for you Heath wouldn't be in this condition."

"I....I" her voice sounded strangled as she ran from the room.

Turning his back towards Alanon he glared out the window. Arms crossed in front of him breathing deeply "go to her," Ambrogio entreated "she didn't mean to hurt ...."

"But she did" Adam snapped "Heath's my son. Her son. She should have fought harder to resist..."

"It's not that easy," Ambrogio said quietly "You know that struggle. How close you were to giving in. To feeding."

"But I fought it," Adam protested as unwanted memories flashed through his mind. He knew the struggle. The pain. It's what drove him to want to kill himself before he gave in.

"You're stronger then she is," Ambrogio broke into his thoughts "can't you see how much this is hurting her? How much guilt she's struggling with?"

Moaning Adam wanted to block out Ambrogio's words. Pretend that he didn't know. Didn't understand the struggle. The pain she was in. He wanted, no he needed someone to blame. Blame? His thoughts shouted at him that Alessandro was the one to blame and he was taking his anger out on Beverly. His wife. The one person who had stood by him through all this craziness. Convinced him he wasn't the monster he thought he was. That he could be trusted around her and the kids. Why couldn't he extend the same to her? Because she had the crossed line and hurt his son. That was unforgivable wasn't? He continued to glare out the window his inner turmoil continuing to grow.

***

"Dad," Heath murmured in a semi wakeful state.

"Shh," Don soothed sitting on the edge of the bed stroking his cheek "it's ok. You're safe now."

Opening his inhuman eyes Heath stared up at Don a moment before turning his face "go away."

Dropping his hand Don blinked back tears. He couldn't no matter how hard he tried he couldn't convince Heath that he loved him no matter what he looked like. He love him. Heath was his life and it hurt so much to have him reject his affection. "Heath I love you, he cried softly affirming his feeling out loud for himself and for Heath. "Don't push me away. Please let me help you."

"Don I can't. I'm sorry," Heath sighed "I....I'm a doll. What good am I to you in this state?" 

Reaching out Don forced Heath to look at him "I don't care what you look like. I love you. You are you in whatever form your in. Your the father of my children."

"Children?" Heath perked up a little "you....you found...."

Nodding "yeah we found her. Your dad and Ambrogio tricked Silver into bringing us to her. She's about four years old thanks to the time bubble she was trapped in but she's safe now." Taking Heath's hand "do you want to meet her?"

Shaking his head Heath took his hand away "no she doesn't need to see me like this."

Sighing Don got up and walked away head bent hands in pockets. He didn't know what he could do to help Heath. He could see the pain he was in and there was nothing he could do about it.

***

Percy found Beverly crumpled on the ground crying. Sitting next to her he spoke calmly and quietly "give him time."

"Time? Time for what? For him to hate me more than he does already?" She sniffed covering her face with her hands.

"Time to come to his senses. Time to realize how much he loves you."

"He doesn't love me. How could he? I'm a monster." Her sobs increased in intensity "look at what I've done."

Prying her hands away from her face he said firmly "that wasn't your fault."

"It was. It was. I could have fought harder. I should have resisted Alessandro's command." Beverly cried refusing to be comforted.

Percy sighed sitting beside her. He understood the guilt. The self-loathing. He looked up as the front door opened. He smiled. He also knew the Van Winkles were remarkable people, capable of forgiving almost anything. He squeezed Beverly's shoulder before getting up "don't give up hope," he whispered in her ear before leaving.

***

"Daddy, daddy," a little girl's voice penetrated his dreams. Blinking Heath looked into the eyes of his daughter. She had his eyes. A smile formed on his inhuman face before it was replaced with a cold indifferent stare. She reached out a tiny hand to stroke his face repeating "daddy."

Struggling to sit up Heath called out "Don, Don," receiving no response Heath grimaced looking at the little girl "how did you get in here?"

"I walked," her tone implying that was self evident. She stared at him for a moment in silence before stating "you don't want me here. Why?"

"I...um," he stammered "how do you know that?" he asked unable or unwilling to answer her question, he didn't know which.

Shrugging "I can feel it. Same as I can feel your my daddy." She reached her small hand out and took his stuffed one "you love me. I felt your love when I was born. The love that Silver tried to take away from me. I wouldn't let him. I love my daddy's even when I never saw you. I knew you would come. Now that I'm here you don't want me."

The hurt in her voice tore at Heath. He pulled her close to him "I do want you. I do love you. Your my daughter. I'd do anything for you."

"Really?" she asked snuggling into him "even if you remain a doll?"

Struck dumb Heath pondered her question. Would his love change because of the form he was in? No it wouldn't he was still the same person on the inside no matter what he looked like. Everything that Don had been telling him fell into place. No wonder he couldn't push Don away no matter how hard he tried. Squeezing her tight "I'll love you no matter what I look like. It's what I am on the inside that matters."

"It's about time you realized that," Don said from where he stood above them.

***

Taking Percy's spot Adam sat beside Beverly listening to her sobs. Wordlessly he pulled her to him kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry," he told her squeezing her tight.

"For what?" she asked her voice muffled as she spoke into his shoulder.

Exhaling loudly Adam held her to him "for blaming you. I know you couldn't help what happened. You would change it if you could."

Feeling his arms around her, hearing his voice brought a measure of hope to heart. She felt at peace. "Oh Adam I'm so sorry. I love Heath like he was my own son. I never wanted to hurt him. I don't deserve your forgiveness...."

Kissing her mouth preventing her from continuing Adam pulled away "don't ever talk like that. I know you love Heath. I should never have doubted that. I should never have let my anger at Alessandro cloud my thinking. You made sure you got Heath out of Moonlight Falls..."

"Then why are we going back?" she asked.

"Not we just me and Heath," Adam corrected.

"The hell you are" Beverly sat up "I won't let you go without me."

"Please listen to reason," Adam pleaded "the children need you at home. They need at least one of their parents around to help them grow up."

"I know but I don't want to lose you," she protested "I want everything to be the way it was before we knew about vampires and werewolves..."

"So do I  but we have to deal with the reality we have," He leaned into her "I have to go. I have to see this through. I'm the only one who can. Whether I like it or not I am the heir."

"When do you go?" she asked her eyes filling with tears.

"The sooner the better," Adam told her.

Nodding she ran the tip of her tongue across her lips "Adam I ...I need you."

Taking her hand he led her into the house and into the shower where they could enjoy a moment together without interruptions.

***

Four weeks later Adam found himself with his head in the toilet. He could no longer deny what his body had been telling him. Thanks to the alien alterations he was pregnant. What he had hoped was mere exhaustion from not feeding regularly was undeniable now.

"Have you told her?" Ambrogio asked coming in to check on him.

"No," he groaned as another bout of nausea had him hanging his head into the bowl. Beverly had noticed the bruises and soreness in intimate areas. He had brushed it off best he could with an explanation of how for a short time Ambrogio had ousted him from his body and taken control. He emphasized how it had been necessary to find Kimberly. She had accepted it but he could see the worry in her eyes when she told him that if he ever needed to talk she was there for him. He had thought about mentioning his fear that he may be pregnant but he couldn't. How could he when he wasn't ready to face it himself?

He felt Ambrogio rubbing his back trying to ease his cramped muscles mumbling "I'm sorry. I didn't know it was even a possibility."

Grunting Adam sat up breathing deeply "there was nothing you could do to prevent it. I doubt Silver would have taken No as an answer. You did warn me that you would have to be intimate with him. It was my fault I didn't mention the alterations." Groaning again he stuck his head in the toilet "I just didn't think."

"It's not the end of the world," Ambrogio told him "it is after all your child too."

"What if it has the gene? What if it's genetically prone to be evil?" Adam asked panic rising in his voice.

"It could also be a vampire. If it is then the gene will be dormant." Ambrogio told him.

"That's not very comforting," Adam complained "but it would be the answer to the problem to who will be the heir," Adam muttered wiping his mouth out with water.

Holding his hand out Ambrogio suggested "we should tell the others."

Nodding Adam accepted the hand not looking forward to telling his son that he was pregnant by the man who had taken his daughter. Coming out of the bathroom Heath asked from the couch "are you alright?"

"I'm fine son," Adam mumbled trying not to look at anyone "where's Alanon?"

"In his lab," Heath told him sounding out of breath.

Sitting next to him Adam asked "how are you holding up?"

"I keep hoping that Alanon will find a solution to bring me back to normal but nothing changes."

"Don't give up hope," Adam tried to sound positive despite his own growing doubts.

"I think I've got it," Alanon announced coming into the room. Handing Heath the potion "drink this" he demanded.

Heath drank the bitter concoction while everyone stared at him. Shaking his head as he finished "I don't feel any different," he told them. He could see the disappointment in his father's eyes "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"It's not your fault,"Adam said longing to see his son in his human form again.

"I just want to home," Heath whined "I want to be with Don and my daughter. It's time I pick up the pieces of what's left of my life."

Looking at Alanon "is there anything else you can do that you haven't already tried?"

"No I'm sorry this was my last idea." He sat down deflated "I thought for sure this would work."

"You tried your best," Ambrogio said going to stand beside him.

"It wasn't good enough though, was it?" Alanon said defeated "I'm sorry Heath but if you don't transform soon you'll die. I'll continue to work on this...find something to prolong it."

"I want to go home," Heath said again "I want to spend whatever time I have left with Don and Kimberly."

"Alright son. I'll take you home," Adam reassured him "for now get some rest." He got up and walked away unable to control his emotions in front of them.

***

"You shouldn't be out here," Alanon said approaching Adam.

"What do you want?" he growled not in the mood to be told what he should or should not be doing.

Putting his hands up Alanon said "I know your upset about Heath but you shouldn't put yourself in jeopardy."

"Jeopardy? Life in one hazard after another. What good am I if I couldn't protect my own son?"

"I'm sorry Adam. Sometimes we have to face things we shouldn't have to. You're the heir it's time you took your rightful place as ruler of Moonlight Falls. The people are willing to support you. Alessandro will go down. We held off long enough in the hopes that Heath would recover. That's not going to happen. I'm sorry. You will need to assign a successor..."

"Or produce an heir," Adam said.

"That's an option. It would be too dangerous for a human female to carry a vampire child." Alanon informed him.

"I wasn't thinking of my wife..."

"Surely you wouldn't with someone else...." Alanon sounded appalled by the idea.

Shaking his head Adam sighed "fourteen years ago I was abducted by aliens. I was modified to have an alien hybrid, my daughter Irissa. When Ambrogio was in control of my body he and Silver were intimate..."

"You're telling me your pregnant?" Alanon said in disbelief.

"Yes I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. I had a hard time with my first pregnancy. I almost died." Putting a hand on his stomach "I don't know how I feel about this child. It's a part of me but also a part of Silver. How can I lead a revolt in this condition."

"You fake it," Alanon told him "you're not alone in this either. You have me and Ambrogio to help you. When Alessandro is taken down they'll be no more threat. That child will carry the hopes of a new life for Moonlight Falls."

"Only if it's a vampire," Adam smiled sadly "it could be just like a Silver...."

"Don't worry about that.  I can make sure the child develops as a vampire. I can suppress the creator gene."

"You can do that?" Adam asked in wonder. "Alright. We do this."

"Adam, Alanon get in here quick," Ambrogio's high pitched panic stricken voice had them running to the door.

"Heath," Adam cried as he watched his son gasping for air. "Do something," he cried dropping to his knees beside his son.