Special Chapter - Patrick

Jeff glanced around his new home. It wasn't much but it was his. He sighed with a building sense of satisfaction that he was finally moving in the right direction by making the decision to split from Lisa. What other choice did he have after what happened at Rita's six months before. It was over. Had been over for a long time. He had been clinging to the remnants of what they once had.

Moving to Moonlight Falls to be near Tommy and his family was the best decision he could have made. Talon was a ball of energy that kept him on his toes; especially now that Talon had discovered how to use his wings. His favorite past time now was evading being caught and Jeff spent the majority of time with his grandson chasing the little scamp around the house.

Talon's infectious laughter filled his tiny house as he attempted and failed to catch the little bumble to put him down for his nap. A loud knock interrupted their game of cat and mouse. "Patrick" Jeff cried upon opening the door and finding his eldest son grinning in front of him. Pulling him into a quick spontaneous hug "come in and close the door before Talon decides to escapes."

Puzzled Patrick did as he was told followed by a good looking green eyed male. Patrick watched in wonder as Talon buzzed past hovering nearby to inspect the visitors. "Is that him? My nephew?" his eyes sparkled with fascination and curiosity.

"That's Talon" Jeff laughed as his grandson came up to Patrick putting an inquisitive finger on his nose "that's your Uncle Patrick."

Giggling Talon squealed and darted away before Patrick could grab him and hold him. "He looks so much like Tommy. It's amazing and shocking at the same time," he said watching the boy hovering behind Jeff's shoulder.

"He keeps me on my toes that's for sure" Jeff said ushering them to the couch "What brings you to Moonlight Falls?" Inwardly he was expecting the worst. A plea for help in managing Lisa. That seemed to the only reason his children ever invited him over or showed up at his house unannounced.

Taking Brice's hand in his Patrick smiled warmly at his dad "I wanted you to know that the procedure was a success."

Jeff's brows knitted together as he puzzled over his son's announcement. What procedure? Then it clicked leaving him grinning "congratulations." He bounced up to give each of the young men sitting across from him a hug "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you dad that means a lot" Patrick squeezed Brice's hand "we're both excited to be parents. We were hoping you might be able to help us with something."

Brice nodded encouraging him to continue. Jeff held his breath knowing what that help was going to be and dreading it.

"We're hoping you might be able to introduce us to Peter Van Winkle so we can thank him. If it weren't for his work and dedication this wouldn't be possible. He's done so much to help same sex couples have their own biological children. We'd just like to thank him" Patrick continued unaware of the relief that his words were giving his father.

"I'll see what I can do" Jeff said "Peter's been busy working on a project recently."

"If nothing else we'd like to write a letter thanking him. Do you think you could see he got it if we can't meet him?" Brice asked "I know Patrick would prefer doing it in person but we don't want to disturb his work either."

"No we wouldn't want to do that" Patrick agreed taking his husband's hand "there is something else we need to discuss with you. We've been offered positions with the ...."

***

Loud banging interrupted them. Jeff went to see who it was at his door. His smile faded upon sight of Lisa's displeased snarl "what are you doing here?"

"They did it didn't they?" she was practically screaming as she shoved past Jeff into his house "which one of you is the abomination?"

Standing Patrick shrugged off the supporting hands of his husband "I guess that would be me." He stared coldly at the woman who gave birth to him "you're going to be a grandmother."

"I refuse to accept that thing as my grandchild" she spewed spittle across the room "how dare you embarrass the family in this way.

"Lisa" Jeff hissed her name in disbelief at what he was hearing "what's wrong with you?"

Focusing her attention on her soon to be ex-husband "this is all your fault. Allowing them to make their own decisions. I had a nice pretty girl picked out for him. She'd have made him a good wife but...." she waved a hand towards Brice "he chose that."

"That's enough" Jeff grabbed her arm attempting to guide her towards the door "this is my home. I won't tolerate you insulting my son or his husband in this manner."

"You won't tolerate it?" she snapped her eyes darting to his face "you don't mind that your son is going against nature? Marrying a man. Getting pregnant. It's all ok with you."

"You're drunk" Jeff said catching a whiff of her breath.

"Just a few drinks on the plane" she dismissed his words.

"You need to leave before you say anything else you'll regret" Jeff opened the door hoping she'd take the hint and leave before she completely wrecked her relationship with her son.

She looked over his shoulder towards the two young men. Brice was rubbing Patrick's back in slow rhythmic circles. For a brief moment her eyes softened "we used to be like that" she murmured.

Nodding slowly Jeff sighed "we were once upon a time."

"Until I mucked it up" her voice was full of regret.

"It takes two" he sighed "I could have fought harder to be more of a presence in my own family."

"Meaning  you should have told me no sooner and more often" her voice was hardening a sure sign she was building towards something.

"Among other things" Jeff argued "it's to late now. It's in the past."

Jeff walked her outside debating within himself if he should let her drive. "Give me the keys" he held his hand out.

"I can drive" she refused knocking his hand away.

"Lisa either give me the keys or I'm calling the cops" he said not taking the chance. He couldn't live with the woman but he couldn't let her hurt herself or someone else by driving in her condition.

"Fine" she threw her purse at him letting him dig inside it for the keys.

"Wait here" he commanded running back to the house. "Will you guys wait here for me while I take your mother to the hotel?" he asked hoping they wouldn't want to leave after this "make yourself at home" he said when they nodded.

***

A couple of hours later Jeff entered his dark and silent house. Disappointment flooded through him. He had wanted to spend time with his oldest son instead it had take him forever to disentangle himself from Lisa and her drunken ramblings. Turning on a light he spread out on the the couch. A moment later he jumped to his feet "Talon" he cried. Where was his grandson? With everything happening he had completely forgotten about the boy.

"Talon" he called running for the spare bedroom where he put the boy for his naps. He switched the light on running for the crib. Empty. Had the boy gotten out while he had been dealing with Lisa? Was the boy buzzing around outside alone perhaps lost in the dark? Racing for the front door he flung it open coming face to face with Patrick.

"Dad what's wrong?" he asked seeing the panic in the older man.

"Talon...I can't find him" he searched the darkening yard wondering which way the boy would have gone.

"Talon?" Brice asked "did Tommy bring him back?"

Staring at the young man Jeff demanded "what do you mean back?"

"Well" Brice looked at Patrick before responding "they came by the house while you were gone"

Running a hand through his hair "did they take Talon with them?"

"Of course they did" Patrick laughed "do you think Brice and I would leave the boy alone?"

"I..." Jeff sighed bursting into helpless relieved laughter "I didn't know what to think. I forgot all about him while I was dealing with your mother."

"You forgot about him" Patrick sounded incredulous. Turning to Brice "remind me when our little one comes not to let him babysit for us."

"Don't worry I will" Brice said solemnly.

Jeff looked from one to the other despite their solemn words their eyes were dancing. "If I didn't know better I'd think you were planning on moving here."

"We are" Brice confirmed.

Walking over to the couch Patrick sat down "we were going to tell you earlier but were interrupted. The police department asked us to set up their forensics lab."

"I'm so proud of you" Jeff said "you've worked hard for this I know."

"You're not disappointed that I didn't become an investigator?" Patrick asked .

"Not at all" Jeff smiled "I would have been more disappointed if you had done something you didn't want to do."

"Thanks dad" Patrick looked relieved "mom had a fit when I told her."

"Don't worry about that. She's always wanted someone to take after her father" Jeff explained "she loves you despite how she acts. She's just letting other things cloud her judgment."

"You're too nice to her dad" Patrick said "you always were."

"Yes well" he shrugged. What could he say "old habits die hard."

"Yes they do" Patrick said softly glancing up at the man beside him. Brice had spent a lot of time helping him see what Lisa had been doing to him. They had met at the police academy. Patrick had been dating some girl his mom had set him up with, too afraid to let anyone know he had no real feelings or attraction for her.

At the time Patrick would have denied it about himself. That was until he met Brice. He had felt the difference in the way his body reacted to the man. His heart would speed up at the sound of his voice. Whenever Brice entered the room it was like he brought the sunshine with him. Patrick couldn't take his eyes from him. Every touch no matter how brief or inconsequential it was felt like being on fire.

He had never felt that way with Tanya. His mother's choice for him. In a remote way Patrick knew she was pretty. She was nice. Her voice had a nice ring to it. She just didn't make him come alive when she was near him. Half the time he didn't even know if she was in the same with him. Brice was different. He knew every move he made. When he left the room it was suddenly cold and lonely without him.

He still would have been in denial if it weren't for that day that brought them together. They had been assigned to work together. Patrick would always remember how Brice had joined him setting his books aside. "I've seen you watching me" his green eyes seemed to hypnotize him as he struggled to find something to say. "That's ok. I like you too" Brice had given him a bright flash of his white teeth as he sat down "I'm glad we're working together. I've wanted an excuse to introduce myself to you."

Patrick tried to convince himself that they were just friends over the next few months. He invited Brice to come with him to meet the family. To this day he still remembered the hateful glare his mother had given Brice upon meeting him. Brice had leaned over wrapping his arms around him whispering in his ear unconcerned "I don't think she likes me."

"Don't be ridiculous" he objected "of course she does. It just takes a while for her to warm up to people."

He had thought it strange afterward how his mother had insisted on inviting Tanya over. He had spent the weekend fending off his girlfriends unwanted attentions.

After returning to the academy Brice had put a hand on his knee "your family doesn't know, do they?"

"Know what?" he asked choking on the words to afraid to admit what he had begun to suspect.

"That you're gay" Brice squeezed Patrick's knee before removing his hand "I know you're not ready to admit it yet either. Just do yourself a favor and don't let your mom convince you you're something you're not." 


To Patrick's surprise Brice leaned over placing his soft lips on his in a soft tender kiss. It wasn't the mind blowing kiss he had read about or the earth stopping kiss he watched in countless movies. It was one full of promise. His lips tingled afterward leaving him breathless as he watched Brice get his things. It was an entirely new sensation. Something he had never felt with Tanya no matter how many times they had kissed.

***

Pulling his mind from the past Patrick turned to Jeff "why did you retire?"

Shrugging Jeff moved restlessly on the chair he was sitting on. Looking down he tried to avoid the interested stares he was receiving from his son. "I realized I no longer enjoyed what I was doing." He sighed shaking his head "it wasn't important anymore. I'm a consultant here in Moonlight Falls and will probably be working with you on the Forensics Lab."

"Did you lose interest because of the pressure mom put on you to make the next promotion?" Patrick asked worry in his purplish blue eyes.

"That wasn't all of it" Jeff admitted "I missed my old partner. It wasn't the same without him. Plus I wanted to be home more but that meant spending more time with your mother and dealing with her disappointment. I wasn't ready to admit her dreams weren't mine." He stopped unsure what else to say "I'm proud of you son for being able to stand up to her. You were able to let yourself be true to what you wanted to be."

"Thanks" he murmured in response. Patrick felt somewhat uncomfortable accepting the compliment. Most of the time he felt like a failure. He had almost given in to his mother's wishes that he marry Tanya. He might have married her if it weren't for that single kiss Brice had given him in the car that night.


It had helped him admit to himself that he wasn't happy living the life his mother wanted for him. He realized if he didn't stand up for himself he'd be miserable for the rest of his life. "It was an act of desperation more than anything else" he said out loud. He looked around the room at their startled expressions "me standing up to mom was an act of desperation. I was afraid of waking up one day and hating everything about my life." He looked at his dad "you gave me the strength to do it. I saw how unhappy you were. How much of a struggle you had but you never gave up. Don't let mom make you believe you were a bad dad. That's the furthest thing from the truth. You were a good dad even when you weren't there. Every minute we spent with you was time we enjoyed growing up. Other kids may have had their dads everyday sitting behind the newspaper at the table or watching TV never talking to them. You always wanted to know what we wanted or how we felt about things. It meant a lot to us."

Jeff's heart swelled within him. He had always believed that he had been a mostly absent father. That the little time he had spent with his kids didn't count for much.

It was a shock when someone pulled him close wrapping their arms around him. "I'm sorry" Patrick said "I should have told you sooner. Somehow I thought you knew how we felt."

"I thought..." he sniffed trying to maintain control over his emotion and failing. "It doesn't matter what I thought."

"Yes it does" Patrick insisted "you spent too many years believing what you thought and felt wasn't important."

"I should have been there more for you and I wasn't" Jeff mumbled feeling his son draw him closer "I wasn't there for all the games and plays you were in as kids. I knew how disappointed you were ...."

"Those were just things we did" Patrick rubbed Jeff's back like Brice had done for him a few hours before "yeah we wanted you there but it wasn't the do or die situation mom always made it out to be. She made sure you didn't find out about things until the last minute making it impossible for you to come. We never blamed you."

Jeff listened to his son's words. He heard the sincerity in his voice. Was this really how they felt? "I'm going to enjoy having you here," he said choking up as he saw the tears of understanding in his son's eyes.

"Good you can help us find a house" Patrick said winking over at Brice.

"And you can be our babysitter when we need a night out alone" Brice added.

"Deal" Jeff said smiling at them all "maybe I can be a better grandpa than I was a dad."

"Don't" Patrick chided "I love the dad I have. I wouldn't change you for anything."

It was nice to hear Jeff had to admit as he nodded accepting his son's statement. It didn't stop the doubts and self recriminations. He would always feel he could have done better, tried harder, done more. He couldn't go back. All he could do was go forward.