Generation 2, Chapter 22 - Barely Coping

"Dad how am I going to do this?" Adam asked.

"Son it's natural to be a concerned about taking care of your children. What exactly has you the most concerned?" Peter asked.

"All of it," Adam threw his hands into the air. "I'm barely able to support my son. How can I care for another one?"

 "You're welcome to stay here as long as you need," Peter began.

"But Dad I can't live with you forever," Adam paced a few steps away. "Everyone is accomplishing things with their lives. While I'm stuck in a never ending circle of one catastrophe after another. Stopping by the window, Adam peered outside "why can't I have a normal life."

"I don't know son," Peter walked up to him. "I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better." He put his arm around his son's shoulders.

"When?" Adam shouted turning his back on his father. "When I'm too old to care? When Heath is too old to need or want my attention? I'm tired of waiting for things to change." Turning back to Peter he said "I don't know how much more I can take between Windy and aliens I'm about to break."

Walking over to Adam, Peter gently wrapped his arms around him. Feeling Adam shake as he tried to control his sobs Peter patted his back. "I know it feels overwhelming but you've got to hang on. No matter how hard it gets, you have people who love and care about you."

Wiping his eyes, Adam gave his father a strangled smile "I have no intention of giving up. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me it's going to be alright."

A noise by the door caused them both to turn as Brian rushed in. "Adam you're back," Brian said rushing over to hug his brother. "I'm so glad. Dad said you were coming home soon." Brian pulled away to tell his Dad "sorry I couldn't wait. I had to see for myself that Adam was really here." Turning back to Adam he smiled "you have a certain glow about you. Must be the hormones."

"Ha ha very funny," Adam mumbled. "You look good. Sorry about missing the wedding."

"We postponed it," Brian told him.

"What? Not on account of me I hope." Adam blurted.

"Well I couldn't get married without my best man now could I?" Brian told him. "Now that you're back, we'll set a new date."

"I'll never fit into my tuxedo," Adam protested.

"They make tuxedos in all shapes and sizes," Brian said reasonably.

"Yes but not for pregnant men," Adam grumbled "it'll never fit and I'll look ridiculous."

"Nonsense," Brian laughed "besides we're not waiting until you're huge. We're having a simple wedding at the house. I just need to make the final arrangements. Now that your back I can do that."

"Is Shannon alright with this?" Adam asked.

"Of course she is," Brian smiled "she suggested it."

Laughing Adam said "I guess you have yourself a best man. I'm all out of excuses just don't complain later that I ruined the pictures by being fat."

"That would never happen," Brian assured him. "I wouldn't care what you looked like, as long as you were there." Catching Peter's eyes, Brian continued "I've got to go but I'll let you know the arrangements, alright?"

After Brian left Peter said "son you need to rest."

"Alright,  I'll see you in the morning," Adam said walking to his room.

The following morning Heath came bounding into his father's room. Jumping on the bed, Heath crawled over to his father's sleeping form. "Dad? Dad wake up," he spoke loudly excited to spend the day with his father. It always seemed like something horrible was about to happen and he always expected that when it did his dad wouldn't come back. He was determined that today would be different.

Shaking Adam's shoulder, Heath repeated "Dad wake up. You promised we'd spend the day together."

Moaning Adam opened his eyes. How was he going to keep up with two kids? He could barely keep up with one and that was with help. He knew this pregnancy was zapping him of energy and he had a new found appreciation for all pregnant women.  He had no idea how they managed it.

Before he could close his eyes again, Heath was peering intensely into his face. "Dad, don't go back to sleep. You promised remember?"

Groaning Adam acknowledged "I know, I know." Adam glanced at the alarm clock "son do you have any idea what time it is? It's 4 o'clock in the morning. It's too early, go back to bed." He shut his eyes, relaxing back into his pillow.

"Daddy?" Heath pleaded shaking his arm "I can't go back to bed. I want to be with you."

"Ok, ok," Adam sighed "if you don't want to go to your bed, climb in beside me and let me rest a little while longer, ok?"

"Ok," Heath said snuggling close to his dad. Adam was about to drift off to sleep again when he heard Heath ask "are you tired because of the baby?"

"Yes," Adam mumbled in response.

"Why?" Heath asked.

Hearing the concern in his son's voice Adam replied "the pregnancy isn't natural."

"What do you mean, not natural?" Heath asked.

Biting his lip Adam realized he choose the wrong words and now needed to calm his son's fears. "Well with humans only girls are able to have babies."

"Did the aliens turn you into a girl?" Heath asked leaning close to his Dad. "Does that mean you're my mom now?"

"No, I'm still your dad," Adam chuckled at his son's question. "I still have all my boy parts. The aliens made changes inside me that makes it possible for me to have a baby...."

"and that's why it's not natural?" Heath asked.

"Yes," Adam agreed drawing Heath close.

"Is it dangerous for you to have this baby?" Heath asked turning to his dad.

"I don't know," Adam sighed. At times like this he wished his son was less intuitive and not as intelligent as he was. He had promised himself that he would never lie to his son, no matter how bad the truth was. "Your Grandpa is concerned the aliens didn't allow enough time for my body to adjust to the changes. My body may not be able to handle having a baby."

"Can't you get rid of it or something?" Heath asked. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"If it was an option I might consider it," Adam sighed knowing he would do anything to be with his son but it wasn't just about him. He had to consider the bigger picture and the lives that could be saved if he continued with this pregnancy, despite the potential complications. If his father was right and they could bring an end to the aliens and save his son from being abducted later on, it would all be worth it.

"I don't think I'm going to like this baby," Heath mumbled.

"Why" Adam asked putting his arm around his son "it's not the baby's fault."

"It is," Heath insisted "if it weren't for the baby you wouldn't be tired all of the time. You'd be ok and I wouldn't have to worry."

Squeezing his small shoulders, Adam sought for something he could say to reassure his son. "Heath you don't have to worry about me, everything's going to be ok."

"No it's not. You can't promise it will be," Heath cried turning away.

"You're right, I'm sorry but it's still not the baby's fault. It didn't ask to come into existence. It's completely innocent of what the aliens did."

"Like you?" Heath sniffed wiping his eyes.

"Yes like me. I didn't ask for this to happen anymore than the baby did. It'll be up to us to give the baby as much love as we can. Do you think you can do that?"

Shrugging his shoulders Heath nodded his head. But he couldn't help the thoughts that skittered through his head. Would the baby be evil like the aliens? Good like his dad? Heath reserved the right to dislike the baby if it hurt his dad even if it wasn't born yet. He didn't care if it didn't ask to be born. All he cared about was his dad. His dad was everything to him.

Adam laid beside his son, listening to the muffled sobs his son tried to hide. How could he go thru with this pregnancy when it brought so much uncertainty to his son's life. If he had no other concerns or responsibilities there would be no thought of terminating the pregnancy. It wouldn't be an option but he had to think about what was best for Heath and whether he would be around to raise his son. Was it fair to his son to put his own life in jeopardy to have this baby? He had to believe he was making the right decision, for the good of humanity. But at times like this his doubts all but smothered him.

Later that morning Adam rolled out of bed trying not to disturb his sleeping son in the process. He smiled down at his son, knowing Heath had cried himself to sleep. Adam shook his head wishing there was something he could do to make his fears disappear.

A stabbing pain pierced his side, doubling over Adam gasped for breath. The throbbing pain eased as he held his side tight, Adam composed himself willing the pain to subside. This couldn't be happening not today. Not the day he promised to spend with Heath. He knew he should tell his dad but Adam decided to wait, to hope the pain wouldn't return. He wasn't going to let a little discomfort interfere with spending the day with Heath. He owed his son his undivided time and attention, he wasn't going to break his promise. Even if it meant his life, he smiled at his melodramatic thought, nothing was wrong he told himself, even though his reflection in mirror made a liar out of him.

Moving cautiously he gathered his clothes and went to shower. The pain in his side was building but at least it was manageable.  As he dressed he told himself he could give his son a carefree day, after all what harm would a few hours cause?

He snuck into his parents bathroom where he knew his father kept the remnants of his pain meds he had while he was undergoing cancer treatments. Adam took a few pills from the bottle, looking at them in his palm, debating with himself whether or not to take them. He knew it wasn't a good idea to take someone else's pills but he had to keep his promise. What harm would it do? Sighing he swallowed a couple and pocketed the rest and went to wake his son.