4.3 I Want You To Stay

Kimberly stared at her reflection, frowning at what she saw staring back at her. Unremarkable was the only word she could fine to describe herself. Mousy brown hair, average blue eyes. Not one thing stood out screaming for attention. She set her eye liner aside with a loud sigh. "No amount of makeup will make me pretty."

"You're too hard on yourself," her Dad said inside her head. She wasn't surprised that he had responded to her cry for help. It was normal for him to do so. Just as it was normal for her to turn to him when she couldn't cope with a particular situation.

"You have to say that," she complained.

"I wouldn't say it if it weren't true," Heath told her "besides it's pointless to lie when you can read my mind when we're connected like this."

That lifted her spirits some. She could tell if he was lying. She didn't very often connect with anyone else in the family other than her dad or grandpa. Not sense she learned the lesson of the importance of privacy. She had the unfortunate mishap of telling every about Gwen's secret crush. She never wanted to betray someones trust like that again. It had taken Gwen months before she would talk to her again. Kimberly smiled at her reflection "thank you Daddy."

"You're welcome sweetheart," Heath chuckled a little "you don't have to compare yourself with your cousin. You don't have to be beautiful to everyone."

"I know Daddy," she looked down feeling shy as her cheeks started to burn as her thoughts turned to Malachi. He never failed to make her feel beautiful.

"When will I get to meet Mr Wonderful?" Heath asked breaking into her thoughts.

"I don't know maybe Spring Break."

"Wouldn't you rather go someplace fun with your friends? You don't really want to come home and be with your boring old parents, do you?"

"You're not old or boring," she objected "besides Malachi would love meeting you."

"Then I'll look forward to seeing you then," Heath told her "I'll let your Dad know. Would you do me a favor? Give him a call sometime. He's getting jealous of how easy and often we talk."

"I will Daddy. I promise," Kimberly assured him. She regretted that her relationship with her other Dad was so strained compared to what she shared with Heath. She knew Don wasn't comfortable with her getting inside his head. So much so she no longer attempted to connect with him that way.

"I love you sweetie. Good luck on your date."

Her date. She was going to be late for her date. She brushed her hair one last time before running from the house.

***

She walked into the mostly deserted coffee shop. Her eyes darting around looking for the dark haired green eyed boy of her dreams. She found him sitting alone his nose in a book. "This seat taken?" she asked coming up beside him.

Startled he jerked upright the book falling to the floor with a loud clatter. "I thought you weren't...I mean you're here," he stammered as his face turned several shades of red.

Kimberly knelt to retrieve the fallen book. Smoothing the crumpled corners she murmured "I'm sorry."

"You're here now that's all that matters," he told her taking the book, their fingers brushing each others. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked "my treat." He got up and moved towards the counter.

"Um" she hesitated looking at her options trying to pick something she hoped he could afford.

"Don't worry about the cost," he whispered in her ear.

Startled she looked up to find him staring at her "how did you...."

"Poor college student remember?" he attempted to wink at her but she noticed the flicker of worry in his eyes before he turned to order two apple danishes and two mocha cappuccinos.

"Pretty confident I'll like what you ordered," she said in a mock serious tone.

"Well," he looked down a little less confident then he was a few moments before "I know you like anything apple and you never pass up chocolate."

She covered her mouth with her hand trying to hide the silly grin she knew was there. "Am I that predictable?"

"No ... that cute," he said looking down fiddling with his napkin "I've never seen anyone get as excited as you do over caramel apple suckers."

She couldn't hold in her giggle any more."I can't help it. They're my fav candy ever!"

"I'll keep that in mind" he smiled at her while his eyes still looked worried.

"Is something wrong?" she asked noticing that he seemed a little off.

"It's nothing," he shook his head looking away.

"Are you sure?" she asked squeezing his free hand.

"Um uh....it's nothing. Really it's nothing," he attempted to give her a smile that faded half way.

She gave him an unconvinced look while she nodded "if you want to talk I'm here."

"I know," he mumbled "would you like to go for a walk?" he asked gathering her empty plate and cleaning up their refuse.

***

That night after Malachi walked her home she felt restless. She stared up into the night sky hoping the answers she was seeking were hidden somewhere in the stars. Despite his denial she knew something was wrong. She could see it in his eyes. Feel it in the way he rubbed his thumb along her skin when they held hands. What wasn't he telling her?

She didn't know how long she stood staring up at the stars but long enough for her to grow stiff and cold from inactivity. Sighing she moved to the door, gasping in shock catching sight of her cousin and her half naked date making out on the couch.

Gwen looked up with a half angry smirk upon her lips "you could have knocked."

"I live here," Kimberly grumbled moving towards the stairs averting her gaze. She ran up the stairs unaware that Gwen followed her until she tried to close her bedroom door.

"So did he tell you?" she demanded.

"Tell me what?" she asked turning to face her cousin.

"He didn't, did he?" she asked almost gleefully "it's all over campus that he lost his scholarship."

"Who?" she asked even as she asked she knew. She saw the heart breaking sadness in his green eyes and the worry. She shouldn't have let him pay.

"You know who. Malachi" Gwen spat at her.

"Why are you so angry at me?" Kimberly asked trying to keep herself calm.

"Because I'll have to stay here and take care of your heartbroken pathetic self when I could be out having fun..."

"I don't need a babysitter," Kimberly told her trying to keep the wobble from her voice. She hated that about herself and how her voice would break under strain. "I can take care of myself."

"Well at least I offered," Gwen said backing towards the door.

"You didn't offer," Kimberly snorted "you whined in the hopes I would turn you down. All so you wouldn't have to feel bad for not helping."

"Whatever," Gwen shrugged unconcerned.

"We're not finished" Kimberly said moving to block her escape "what happened to the rules?"

"What rules?" she glared at the dark haired girl.

"You know," Kimberly crossed her arms leaning against the door "the one where we don't make out in common areas like the living room."

"Oh that," she shrugged "you weren't home..."

"So you thought it'd be ok," Kimberly couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"It's not like I haven't done it before," she laughed at her cousin "you're such a baby."

She hated to admit it but Gwen was right "I would appreciate it if you would keep it to your room from now on."

"Sure, sure just for you," she winked at her "you'll change your mind once you do it."

"Maybe," she said already doubting it. Casual sex didn't appeal to her as much as it obviously did to Gwen.

A few minutes later she heard Gwen and her date come upstairs. She could hear Gwen giggle but not what the guy said in response. "Not so loud we don't want little miss innocent to hear us."

"That's right your cousin's still a virgin isn't she?" Kimberly reached for her ear buds seeking to block them out what they were saying when she heard Gwen say loud and clear "you know anyone up to the challenge?"

"There's plenty who wouldn't mind getting a piece of that action," was the rather hurtful and insulting response. She turned up her music hoping to drown out the rest of the conversation and the moans of pleasure that would soon follow. She had no doubt that conversation was pitched for her benefit. 

***

The next day Kimberly waited for Malachi to come out of the Fine Arts building. She watched him emerge, head down, feet shuffling. "Malachi," she said as he passed by where she sat. 

He stopped looked around in a kind of daze "Kim, what are you doing here?"

Ignoring his question she asked "why didn't you tell me?"

He stared at her befuddled "tell you what?"

"You lost your scholarship," she got up and wrapped her arms around his waist "why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do," he leaned his forehead against hers sighing "why would you ask that?"

She looked into his sullen green eyes "why did I have to hear about it from Gwen? Why didn't you 

tell me?"

"How did your cousin find out? I was working on a solution. A way to stay in school," he looked away before continuing "I thought if I managed to figure things out then I wouldn't need to worry you. I would have told you if I failed. I just needed time to figure everything out."

"Maybe I could have helped if you had told me," she pointed out leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm used to doing things on my own." He pulled her towards the bench she had sat on waiting for him "I almost have it figured out. I'm going to have to work twice as hard but it's doable....almost."

"Almost?" she looked up at him "tell me please."

"I can't afford student housing. I can barely  afford to eat." He meant it as a joke but the worry he saw in her crystal clear blue eyes he knew his attempt fell flat.

She turned her head to the side as if listening to something. "Ask the boy to live with you and Gwen. 

You have an extra room," her dad suggested.

"Are you serious?" she asked "won't Dad be upset?"

"I'll talk to him," Heath told her "don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

"Thank you Daddy," she blinked clearing her mind. When she opened her eyes she found Malachi staring at her intently with concern.

"Are you ok?" he asked "you blanked out there for a moment."

"No I'm ok I...." she bit her lip unsure how he would taker her ability to communicate with blood relatives with her mind. It was something she would have to tell him sooner or later. She would prefer it be later though. "I was just thinking. We have an extra room and your piano is already set up there. Why don't you live in our house? I mean .... that is if you want..." She clamped her mouth shut over the words that wanted bubble out like an uncorked bottle of champagne. She could feel her hands becoming clammy as he stared at her "well say something..."

"I..." he cleared his throat looking away face bright red.

"I'm not proposing marriage or anything. We can still be...you know. We don't..." her face turned almost violet as she choked on the words that almost spilled out. "Oh gawd I'm such an awkward idiot."

His chuckle was almost as bad as his silence had been. He reached out and gently turned her face towards him "no you're not. You're many things but idiot isn't one of them. At least not to me." He leaned in and placed a light feathery kiss upon her lips. "Thank you for the offer but I don't think it'll work out."

"Why not?" she demanded grabbing his hand afraid he'd walk away.

"I don't think your dad's would want your boyfriend living in the same house as you," he told her.

"Yes they would...I mean they wouldn't mind," she sighed as she saw the disbelieving look he had on his face "I'll ask them. I'm positive they'll say yes."

Brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear Malachi gazed into her blue eyes "ok ask. Just don't be surprised when their answer is no."

"It won't be because their answer will be yes and when they approve it,  will you promise me that you'll move in?"

"I promise" he said pulling her close.

***

"No freaking way" Gwen glared at her hands on hips.

"It's not your decision," Kimberly said bracing herself for more verbal abuse She wanted nothing more than to have her best friend back instead of this clone masquerading as her. "Gwen our parents approved it. What's your problem?"

"If your boyfriend can move in so can mine," she said.

"What boyfriend?" Kimberly asked confused "you haven't dated or slept with the same guy more than once since we got here."

The blonde's eyes bulged from their sockets "how dare you."

"How dare I what?" Kimberly choked "tell the truth?"

"You called me a whore," Gwen accused tears running down her cheeks.

"If the shoe fits," Kimberly tossed back regretting the words as soon as they were said. The sudden stinging slap on her cheek left her stunned. The sound echoed in the silent kitchen. Gwen stared at her hand then moved her wide stunned blue eyes to the reddening bruised cheek of her cousin. Without a sound Gwen whirled around and ran from the house.

Kimberly crumpled to the floor crying, desperate to keep her mind closed so as not to alert her parents to what happened. She didn't want to be the one to break the news to her Uncles about their daughter's downward spiral, at least not yet. She would if there wasn't any other way to break through to Gwen.

"Are you alright?" a concerned male voice asked coming into the kitchen.

Looking up Kimberly held a hand over her sore cheek mumbling "I'm fine."

"Liar" Malachi said as he knelt beside her. Taking her hand away "let me see."

Looking down unable to meet his concerned green eyes "she's just upset....I said things I shouldn't have."

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I don't want to cause conflict between you and your cousin," 

Malachi said wiping away the tears as they rolled down her face. "I can find someplace else to live. Tell your parents thank you for me." He stood up and turned to leave.

"No please," Kimberly grabbed his hand "I want you to stay....please."

Looking down at her he let her pull him down to the floor with her. He pulled her into his arms kissing her cheek "ok you win. I'll stay."

"Thank you," she murmured snuggling into his arms resting her head on his shoulder "she's not mad at you. She's mad at me."

"Why?" he probed wanting to help but unsure how or whether he should become involved.

Shrugging "I don't understand her anymore. I want the girl I grew up with back but I don't think she exists anymore and I miss her."

"Have you tried telling her how you feel?"

"I don't know how," she sighed sitting up in his arms "every time I try we wind up saying things to hurt each other."

"I'm sorry," Malachi said softly "I don't know what else to suggest."

"It's ok" she smiled up at him "thanks for listening."

"Want to help me move my stuff in?" he asked looking for something to distract her.

"Oh so now you're putting me to work," she gave him a severe frown "do I look like I do manual labor?"

"Now that I think about it...."

"Don't say it if you value your life," she advised him putting a hand to his lips "I'll help."

4.2 What's Your Name?

After a month of being at university and still not participating in any activities Gwen felt duty bound to help her cousin have a little fun. She came home one afternoon announcing "you're coming with me."

Jerking her arm away Kimberly shook her head "I have a lot of work to do...."

"Not tonight," Gwen put her hands on her hips considering her no nonsense cousin "I know you are at least two assignments ahead in all your classes. Even that essay you've been working on is half written and it's not even due for another two weeks."

"But but" she stammered trying to come up with an excuse so her cousin let her stay home.

"You promised me you'd have fun remember?" Gwen pulled her out of her chair "I'm not taking no for an answer. You're coming with me."

"Where are we going?" Kimberly asked following her cousin upstairs. She watched as Gwen opened her closet and started to examine her clothes.

Frowning Gwen asked "don't you have any party clothes?"

"What's wrong with the clothes I have?"

"They're just so .... boring" Gwen scrunched up her face in distaste "you'll just have to wear something of mine."

***

An hour later Kimberly walked into the Sorority house behind Gwen who seemed to know her way around. As she expected after a few minutes Gwen forgot all about her in favor of her friends. 

Finding herself abandoned Kimberly wandered through the house alone.

Piano music drifted through the house. Drawn by it she climbed the stairs to find the boy she met at orientation playing to a small group of half drunk students. She tried to stay out of sight knowing how she had embarrassed him when she introduced herself.

Someone she had seen occasionally at the house visiting Gwen came up and grabbed her around the waist. "Let's dance pretty lady" he half slurred his words as he breathed heavily in her face. She tried to extricate his arms from around her. It was too late as he twirled her around causing her to knock into the boy at the piano. She landed hard on her bottom to the drunken delight of her companion who was doubled over in laughter.

"Are you alright?" the green eyed boy asked holding his hand out to help her up.

She took his hand mumbling "thank you."

Looking at his feet he shoved his hands in his pockets mumbling "you're welcome." He turned to gather his things.

Kimberly watched him a for a moment unsure what she should do. With tentative fingers she touched his arm. "I ... I really enjoyed your music."

He looked up startled as if her hand jolted his mind from some place else. A timid grin spread across his face as he stood up straight "you did?" he asked pleased.

Nodding she took a step forward "it was beautiful." She looked down fiddling with her finger nails "I always wanted to learn."

He looked at her in surprise "I didn't think you'd be interested in anything other than science."

She cocked her head "like you're not supposed to have any other interest other than music?"

"You got me there," he nodded looking her straight in the eyes "I could teach you if you'd like."

Running her fingers along the keyboard she slowly nodded her head "I'd like that. My cousin is always after me to have a little fun."

"I doubt taking piano lessons count as fun," he pointed out.

"All she'll see is a cute guy...." as soon as the words escaped her lips Kimberly wanted to slink into a hole and hide.

His cheeks reddened as he stammered "you you think I'm cute" he repeated his green eyes dancing with amusement. She made a small strangled cry in her throat as she moved to walk away. "Hey don't go," he said reaching out and touching her hand "I think your pretty too." He watched as crimson rose up her neck and across her cheeks leaving her blues eyes sparkling bright. "I'd be honored to give you piano lessons" he added trying to defuse the suddenly awkward situation.

"I'd like that" her voice barely above a whisper. She turned and fled running down the stairs.

***

Without looking back she thought she heard him call after her. She had only one thought in her head. To get away before she said anything else embarrassing. She knew her way around a telescope but when it came to boys she was clueless.

It wasn't until she arrived at home that she realized she still didn't know the boys name. "I'm such an idiot," she mumbled flopping into a chair. She heard soft laughter in her head "how much do you know?" she demanded.

"Not much sweetie," Heath replied "I know enough to know you're less than happy with how the party went."

"It's not only that Daddy" she moaned "there's this boy and I made a complete idiot of myself."

"Did you meet the same boy from orientation" Heath asked.

"Yeah what do I do? I don't even know his name" she felt tears welling up behind her eyes.

"First calm down. It's not the end of the world" Heath told her his voice soothing "Second contact your cousin to ask him for his name or his phone number."

She gasped in shock "he must think I'm a real idiot."

"I doubt that" Heath told her "maybe a little absent minded...."

"You'll be with me next time we meet won't you?" Kimberly asked hoping he'd say yes but...

"Absolutely not" Heath told her "you don't need to take your Dad with you on a date."

"It's piano lessons not a date," she protested.

"It's a boy you like," he refuted "you'll figure it out."

"What if I do or say something stupid?" she asked remembering what she had already said and done.

"If he comes again and endures your mistakes then I'd say he's a keeper," Heath told her "relationships aren't easy but you'll figure it out. Now contact your cousin before she leaves or you'll never find out."

"Daddy I love you" she felt his presence fade from her mind before she reached out to Gwen. She sounded a bit more than buzzed but Gwen said she'd find the green eyed boy. Sighing in relief Kimberly made her way upstairs and called it a night.

***

A week passed and still the green eyed boy hadn't contacted her. Kimberly was positive that Gwen hadn't spoken to the boy despite her assurances that she had. For all she knew Gwen may have approached the wrong green eyed boy if she had been able to decipher eye color in her drunken state. That brought a whole other kind of concern to mind. Was her cousin drinking too much? Should she say anything? Her line of thought was shattered when her phone rang and an unfamiliar number flashed across her screen. Hesitantly she said "hello" to whoever was on the end.

"Kimberly?" a familiar male voice asked "Kimberly Van Winkle," he repeated as if providing her last name would help clear up his identity.

"Yes. Who is this?" she asked her voice firmer than it was earlier.

"Finally" his voice sounded triumphant "I've been asking everyone if they knew you and if they did how to contact you."

"Didn't my cousin give you my number at the party?" she asked 

"Was she supposed to? If she was she didn't; although I left right after you did so maybe she tried but I wasn't there." He was talking fast trying not to become discouraged. "Are you still interested in piano lessons?"

The corners of her mouth quirked up "you went through all this effort just to give me piano lessons."

"Of course" he said with a smile "I had to see you again." After a moment of awkward silence he asked "when did you want to meet up?"

"How about now?" she said excitement building in her voice.

***

She paced the living room floor waiting for him to arrive. All the time spent on the phone she had forgotten to ask his name. He was still just the cute green eyed boy that sometimes occupied her dreams. A knock on the front door had her heart beating at an astounding rate in her chest. "Hi" she said upon seeing him standing on her porch.

"Hi" he grinned at her "where would you like me to set up?"

"Oh" she stepped aside so he could come in "how about here?" she led him into her study space.

"This is a nice place," he smiled at her "a lot quieter then the dorm where I live."

"Our dad's picked it out for us" she explained "Gwen hates it."

"I imagine she'd like it more if she could party here," he said as he set up his keyboard. She watched him for a while. His hands were so strong and his fingers so delicate they could produce beautiful music. "Can I ask you a question?" the boy asked looking at her and smiling.

"Sure," she smiled back.

"Why did you runaway that night?"

Looking down she mumbled "I was...I....don't know. Scared I guess."

"Of me?" he asked astonished.

Shrugging "I'm not very good with people. I can tell you the periodic table, explain how a telescope works but I've" she gave him a shy look through her eyelashes "never had a boy other than my dad's tell me I was pretty."

"Really" he said surprised. He reached out and touched her cheek when the color deepened giving her a rosie complexion. "You really are pretty. I...I feel sorry that no one ever told you that before." He sat back on his heals saying "all those boys were idiots."

She lifted her eyes and stared at him. She had never been drawn to someone like him before. She had her share of crushes in the past. All of which had broken her heart in the end. None of them were as hot as this boy in front of her. None of those boys had been able to make her blush by the way they looked at her or make her stomach flutter. "Can I ask you a something?"

"Anything" he said getting up to tune the keyboard.

"Whats your name?" she blurted out biting her lip as soon as the words left her mouth.

Th sound of his deep amused laughter sent shivers of delight down her spine. "My name" he almost choked "I guess we kind of skipped that part didn't we? I'm Malachi Hale."

"It's good to finally meet you," she said giggling at how mundane and normal it all sounded.

***

An hour later while Kimberly was getting drinks in the kitchen Gwen took her aside. "He's cute," she grinned at her while her eyes danced with curiosity. "Will you need the double bed tonight?"

"What? No!" she cried shaking her head "we aren't to that point yet."

"What are you waiting for?" Gwen asked "a guy like that won't stay single long. You should jump on that now before it's too late."

Frowning Kimberly moved towards the door "I'm not into casual flings..."

"You should give it a try" Gwen giggled "it's a lot of fun. You're only young once."

"I know," she agreed while hesitating to add "but it's not all fun and games. What if you get pregnant?"

"I've got it covered," Gwen brushed her off losing her grin.

"Gwen please I'm worried about you" Kimberly said reaching out towards her cousin "you party too much. What if you forget or your precautions fail?"

"I said I've got it covered," Gwen snapped at her "the only thing you have to worry about is your reputation as a prude." With those unkind words she turned and left.

Staring after her Kimberly wondered what happened to the little she grew up with. The one who cared about herself and those around her. She didn't know this sex crazed, self-centered flirt that had replaced her. 

Going back into the room where Malachi was playing the piano. She smiled at the boy who looked shyly over at her. She set his drink on a nearby table wondering if he had expectations for the night. Did he expect her to hop into bed with him like Gwen implied? If he did then he was going to be disappointed. Would he want to see her again if she didn't fulfill his expectations?

He gave her a quizzical look as he reached for his drink. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No nothing" she shook her head "I just had a misunderstanding with my cousin. That's all. No big deal."

A frown creased his forehead "are you sure?" he asked sensing something else was on her mind.

"I'm positive," she attempted to smile at him. "So what song were you playing?" she asked trying to change the subject. She watched as his cheeks grew red before he looked down at his hands.

"Did you like it?" he asked

"It was .... hauntingly beautiful," she laughed a little "it kind of made me think of someone who had lost their one true love and they felt their presence no matter where they went. It was beautiful. It was sad. There was hope that in the end they would be reunited."

"That's it! OMG that's exactly it" he smiled at her excitement making his voice louder then normal. 

"You're the first person who has ever picked up on the subtle nuances I've tried to put into the song." He fingered the keyboard "It's a work in progress and until tonight I hadn't been able to work out what was missing."

"It was perfect," she told him not wanting him to feel she didn't appreciate him sharing it with her.

"It's far from perfect but it's getting there" he placed his fingers on the piano "listen to this." He played for a moment then stopped "now listen to this."

It was the same tune she heard earlier except this time it had the haunting ethereal quality the first rendition lacked. "I hear it now" she told him "I like the second version best. It reminds me of my parents and all the things they had to endure to be together."

"I used to think my professors were wrong when they said I hadn't found my muse yet. Now I know what they were talking about." He looked at her in a mixture of awe and hope "I think I've found my muse."

"Oh that's great," she said wondering why he was staring at her like he was.

"It is, isn't? It's wonderful" he got up and grabbed her hands "can I come back? I haven't felt this creative in a long time."

"Of course you can," she nodded "I can clear out this room so that it won't be so cluttered and I can study elsewhere."

"No don't," he cried causing her to jump "you don't understand. You're my muse. You don't have to change anything unless you can't study with me playing." He looked at the clock "oh wow I didn't realize it was so late. I'm sorry. I should go." he moved to pack up his things.

"Malachi" she said in a low timid voice "if you're coming back, why don't you leave your stuff here?" She looked up at him her cheeks burning "unless you need it...I just thought..."

"Thank you," he said getting to his feet and pulling her close "I'll see tomorrow then. I'll call to let you know when I'm coming."

***

After Malachi left Kimberly gathered the dirty dishes before going up to bed. The house was silent and she assumed she was home alone. As she walked upstairs she was shocked to hear the sounds coming from Gwen's room. Even if she had wanted the double bed for the night it would have been occupied. She shook her head in dismay as she walked into her bathroom. Smiling at her reflection "he thinks I'm pretty," she told her reflection "he says I'm his muse."

Leaving the bathroom she couldn't deny she was looking forward to the next time she saw him. She grabbed her ear buds in an attempt to block out the noises from the other room that for some reason seemed twice as loud and annoying then usual. As she lay in the dark waiting for sleep to take her she was engulfed in a feeling of longing she hadn't experienced before. She wanted to experience having someone wrap their arms around her and hold her tight. Her mind drifted to the hug Malachi had given her. The scent of his after shave. The feel of his arms as they held her. She felt both vulnerable and safe at the same time.

Her stomach fluttered each time their hands touched. How their eyes would lock and her knees would feel weak. Several times that evening she found herself staring at his mouth and wondering how wonderful it would be to have them pressed up against hers. She'd look away each time embarrassed at the thoughts and feelings that were flooding her senses. She fell asleep thinking of the green eyed boy with the delicate fingers that played music that spoke to her soul.

4.1 Not Ready Yet

Heath walked over to where his eldest daughter was sitting alone in the back yard. Sitting on the ground beside her he waited for her to say something. When the silence lengthened into several minutes he sighed "what's this I hear that you refuse to go to university?"

Shrugging she looked away pulling up tufts of grass. After several more minutes of silence passed between them she mumbled "just a year or two..."

Nodding Heath looked at her in concern. He could guess the reason for her sudden decision but he needed her to say it, to acknowledge it herself. "Why?" he asked keeping his voice void of pressure. He had stayed up half the night listening to Don agonize over her decision. How it was all wrong for her to stay at home. A part of him agree with his husband but another part wished he could keep his kids at home forever. He had missed so much of their lives already. Time he would never get back.

She brought a hand up, wiping at her eyes "I missed you so much." She laid her head on her dad's shoulder "I'm not ready to leave you yet."

Heath lifted her face with the palms of his hands "honey I appreciate that. But you can't put  your life on hold because of me..."

"Daddy I'm...I'm not" she protested.

Shaking his head Heath looked at her with all the love he had for her shining bright in his eyes.

"Honey I love you too. I want you to pursue your dreams." Gently he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping the tears away as they fell. "I don't want to be the reason..."

"Like I was the reason why you and dad didn't go to college" she said quietly looking away.

Pulling her close Heath could feel the tension in her muscles "that wasn't your fault. Those were circumstances neither your Dad or I had any control over."

"But if I hadn't been born you and Dad would have gone on to University. Fulfilled your dreams." She trembled in his arms "I owe you so much..."

Squeezing her tight "you don't owe us anything. What we did was done out of love for you and your sister. Don't forget your Dad was pregnant with Lillianna when we were rescued from the bubble universe. We had to grow up fast. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't difficult because it was. I was all of eighteen years old and already a father of two beautiful girls. I would have done anything for you. I still would. No matter how old you get I would sacrifice anything to keep you safe. To make you happy."

Snuggling into his arms she smiled a little "what about your dreams and happiness?"

Chuckling softly "you can read my mind so you'll know I'm telling the truth. I am happy. My family, my kids, my husband make me happy. Yes I had dreams of going to college and if I really wanted to Don would tell me to go but I really don't want to. My real dream was to become a well known famous artist. My disappearance and reappearance eight years later made that happen..."

Sitting up she stared at him surprise "then why were you planning on going to university?"

"Simple," he grinned at her "I wanted to be with your Dad. At the time I hadn't figured out my feelings for him yet. All I knew was I had an opportunity to be near him. " He let his guard done let her touch his mind allowing her excess to everything he kept bottled inside. He watched her frown then smile.

Throwing her arms around him she squealed "Daddy I love you so so much."

"I know," he said quietly looking intently in her eyes "what have you decided?"

"Exactly what you're hoping I'll decide. To go to college. Get a degree. Follow my dreams." She felt his arms squeeze her tight as she kissed his cheek. "I'm going to miss you." she said softly in his ear.

"As will I" he smiled at her "but we can always talk to each other."

Nodding she touched her head "anytime we want and no one needs to know."

Laughing at her he nodded "anytime sweet heart." He stood up pulling her up with him "I love you." 

He pulled her close "you'll always be my little girl."

"I know" she smiled impishly up at him

***

Two weeks later she sitting beside Gwen on the airplane on their way to University. She blinked several times trying to keep the tears from falling. "You're going to be ok sweet heart," she smiled upon hearing Heath's voice inside her head. They had an open line of communication that neither one wanted to close. It was comforting to know that whenever she needed him he'd he there in her mind cheering her on. There were moments between them when one or the other closed the door in their heads. Moments requiring privacy. Moments Heath shared her Dad. Moments she would rather not be a part of as she was sure Heath would rather not be a part of when she ever met someone she wanted to be intimate with. She just liked knowing he was there. A comforting presence inside her mind as she was to him. A bond she hoped to share with her baby brother when he was older. 

Gwen leaned over excitement bright in her light blue eyes "can you believe we're finally independent young women. We can do whatever we want. Whenever we want."

Looking at her cousin Kimberly laughed releasing the anxiety and nervousness she felt. "You sound like the proverbial I am woman hear me roar."

Nodding Gwen grabbed her hand "that's exactly how I feel." Both girls dissolved into fits of giggles causing several passengers to either frown in annoyance or grin in amusement at them. Sobering some Gwen whispered "did you tell our dad's goodbye?"

"Of course I did," she rolled her eyes at her.

"You don't have to get all huffy about it," Gwen crossed her arms looking out the window pouting.

"Well it was a stupid question," Kimberly retorted staring straight ahead as the plane took them further from their homes.

***

Four hours later they were staring up at their new home. "It looks awful" Gwen complained unimpressed with the house their parents had rented for them.

"It'll be great," Kimberly enthused.

"It'll be boring," Gwen complained "if we were in a sorority or even a dorm we'd be around people, parties and..."

"We're here to learn not have have fun," Kimberly shot her cousin a severe look.

"Why can't we have both?" she moaned following Kimberly inside the house. "Ugh it's even worse than I imagined."

Kimberly had to admit it was pretty bad. "Sweetie how is the house?" Heath intruded upon her thoughts.

"It's... she paused not sure how to describe the place without hurting anyones feelings.

"That bad huh?" Heath laughed in her mind "sorry sweet heart. Your Dad tried."

"I know but maybe next term you'll let us pick out the house?" she left her statement as a question knowing Heath would do his best to make it happen.

"I'll suggest it," Heath sighed "if  you need anything to make the current place more bearable don't hesitate to charge whatever you need."

"Thanks Daddy," she smiled sweetly turning to Gwen "Daddy says we can get whatever we need to improve the place."

"Oh good," she tossed her things on the floor "let's go shopping."

"We can't" Kimberly told her "we need to sit down and figure out what we need and ..."

Groaning Gwen flopped onto the ancient couch "boring." She closed her eyes like she were in pain "why can't we just go? Why does everything involve a long drawn out plan and lists?"

"What's wrong with being prepared? Makings lists? Being organized?" Kimberly asked.

"Because it's boring," Gwen sat up exasperated with her cousin "look your my best friend but sometimes your a real drag. If we have the ok to do whatever we want with the place, why not go a little wild? We could really make this place a real party house."

"No" Kimberly's no nonsense firm voice cut the blonds words off. "We're not taking advantage of my Dad's generosity. We're here to learn, to study. That's why our dad's got us our own house so we wouldn't be distracted."

"You have got to be kidding me. Tell my you're joking," Gwen stood up and approached her cousin "we're finally away from our over protective fathers and you still want to play by the rules and be the good girl."

"I am a good girl," Kimberly lifted her chin up refusing to give in to her cousins demands "I intend on getting on education."

"So do I," Gwen snapped "I just don't see why we can't have a little fun while doing it."

"If you want to party you'll have to do it somewhere else," Kimberly told her "this house will be a party free zone. A place to study."

"Whatever" Gwen stormed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Kimberly asked following her outside.

"Orientation," Gwen called over her shoulder.

***

Kimberly followed after Gwen sensing the girls angers but unwilling to relent. She knew if she did their house would be a steady unending string of parties. She was here to learn. She didn't have time to waste on frivolous activities. She walked into the building. The sounds of several students all talking at once assaulting her ears. She would have left if Gwen hadn't grabbed her hand.

"You may not think you need fun but I know better," the girl said "I'll agree to a no party zone if you'll agree to have a little fun."

"Fine," she grumbled wondering what her cousin would drag her to in her never ending quest for fun.

"Good," she smiled dropping her hand in favor of smiling at some guy standing nearby "I'll see you later," she said walking over to the boy.

Shaking her head Kimberly wandered around the building unsure what she was suppose to do. There were a few students pretending to give long winded lectures on subjects it was obvious they knew little if anything of the subject they were talking about. She listened for a few minutes internally shaking her head at their nonsense.

Weaving her way through the students milling around the speaker Kimberly found her way into a brightly lit room. The sudden silence left her feeling like her ears had suddenly stopped working. Her gasp of shock as her eyes fell upon a couple of scientific work stations had her eyes wide with child like wonder.

"Do you like science?" a young male voice spoke behind her.

She turned nodding surprised anyone was in the room she thought was empty. She turned looking into the friendly green eyes of a dark haired boy standing behind her. "I do," she smiled at him "My Grandfather had one of these in what we called his lab."

"Cool" he smiled flashing his straight white teeth at her "maybe you can help me." He moved towards the nearest machine.

Following him she noticed how he hesitated unsure what he was doing. Without saying a word she reached over and turned it on. Shaking his head he looked up at her "I've been staring at this thing for over an hour trying to figure out how to turn it on. You just do it without even looking."

Shrugging she moved away "like I said before my grandfather had one in his lab. I've watched him work and asked all kinds of questions." She smiled at the memories. The days she had spent with both her Grandpa Adam and Great Grandpa Peter. Listening to them discuss the best way to close the bubble universes for good trapping Silver inside them forever. She wanted nothing more than to know Silver couldn't come back and hurt her or her family ever again. That was the driving force behind why she wanted to become a scientist. She wasn't gong to rest until Silver was gone forever.

Moving aside the boy waved a hand towards the machine "care to give me a lesson since you know how to operate this thing?"

***

A couple of hours later she was still alone with the boy answering his questions and demonstrating how to do things. "Are you here to get a science degree?" she asked.

"No music," the way he said it he sounded so serious. Shrugging he gave her a rueful grin "my parents want me to become a concert pianist. I've been able to play since before I could walk." He got a far away look in his eyes "don't get me wrong I love my parents but they don't understand why I don't share their dream." He looked towards the floor inhaling deeply "I wish I could make them understand."

She reached over touching his arm "what is your dream then?"

Giving her a shy reticent look "you're going to think I'm crazy. Why would anyone want to be a boring old scientist when they could be famous instead?"

"Is that your dream? To be a scientist?" she stared at him intently. She was drawn to this quiet, self-deprecating young man who was pursuing a fine arts degree in music for his parents when he would rather be knee deep in research.

"Yes, yes it is," his quiet voice held conviction that stirred something deep within her. "While all of my friends were reading comic books I was reading Science Digest. My hero's were scientists like Henry Van Winkle and his son Peter. The entire family is something pretty special." He stopped talking watching her eyes as they grew large in surprise "did I say something wrong?"

"No it's just that" she took a deep breath. She knew sooner or later someone would mention her family. She feared that everyone would assume she would use her family connections to get ahead in the scientific community. She couldn't keep her identity a secret and she didn't want to. She was proud of her family and their accomplishments. Taking a deep breath she said "it's just that the Van Winkle's they're family, my family. I'm ....Kimberly Van Winkle...."

"You're you're" he stammered recalling how he gushed about his hero's "I...I must look like such an idiot to you. Wasting your time.." his mouth snapped shut as he turned and fled from the room.

"No wait," she called after him.

***

She watched him flee from the room unable to stop him. He would have found out sooner or later who she was. It was better he heard it from her. Shutting everything down as she was taught how to do she left the facility. Walking back to the small house she was going to call home more depressed then she'd been in a while. She concentrated on blocking her unhappiness from her min not wanting Heath to know how bad her first day from home was going.

Walking into the dark house she knew Gwen was till at orientation. No doubt finding the fun she so desired. Taking advantage of the quiet Kimberly got undressed stepping into the shower without thinking. The blast of ice cold water from the shower head had her jumping from the stall screaming in shock. Grabbing a towel she wrapped it around herself shivering while she waited for the water to heat up. Her mind drifted to the boy she met that evening.

His green eyes so kind and shy. He had put her at ease almost from the start. Most of the boys she had met in high school had either teased her for having two dads or ignored her for being the nerdy girl. There had been the few who thought they could use her to get a good grade. They soon learned she wasn't that naive.

Standing under the water she tried to wipe her mind clear of the green eyed boy. She didn't even know his name. Just that he was a boy who wanted to be a scientist but couldn't because he wanted to please his parents. Why hadn't she asked him his name? It never even occurred to her. Was that an example of what Gwen had accused her of being? Was she aloof? Did she think she was better than everyone else?

Feeling sad, lonely an hurt she crawled into bed. Bring her knees to her chest she felt the tears spill from her eyes wishing her Daddy was there to hold her, to comfort her...."Sweet h heart one day you'll meet someone you can connect with. I promise it will happen." Heath's voice drifted into her mind. Calming her wounded spirit. 

"I know Daddy," she whimpered "I just thought ...."

"I know baby. Give him time. He might surprise you," Heath advised her.

"Ok Daddy," she smiled wiping her eyes dry "I love you."

"I love you too baby girl," he said "good night sweetie. Tomorrow will be a better day."

She closed her eyes letting his voice soothe her frayed nerves. She must have been more upset then she realized to let her guard down allowing Heath to hear her thoughts. It didn't matter she had so few secrets and none she didn't share with him. She was glad he was there. Always there ready and willing to help when she needed him.