4.1 Not Ready Yet

Heath walked over to where his eldest daughter was sitting alone in the back yard. Sitting on the ground beside her he waited for her to say something. When the silence lengthened into several minutes he sighed "what's this I hear that you refuse to go to university?"

Shrugging she looked away pulling up tufts of grass. After several more minutes of silence passed between them she mumbled "just a year or two..."

Nodding Heath looked at her in concern. He could guess the reason for her sudden decision but he needed her to say it, to acknowledge it herself. "Why?" he asked keeping his voice void of pressure. He had stayed up half the night listening to Don agonize over her decision. How it was all wrong for her to stay at home. A part of him agree with his husband but another part wished he could keep his kids at home forever. He had missed so much of their lives already. Time he would never get back.

She brought a hand up, wiping at her eyes "I missed you so much." She laid her head on her dad's shoulder "I'm not ready to leave you yet."

Heath lifted her face with the palms of his hands "honey I appreciate that. But you can't put  your life on hold because of me..."

"Daddy I'm...I'm not" she protested.

Shaking his head Heath looked at her with all the love he had for her shining bright in his eyes.

"Honey I love you too. I want you to pursue your dreams." Gently he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping the tears away as they fell. "I don't want to be the reason..."

"Like I was the reason why you and dad didn't go to college" she said quietly looking away.

Pulling her close Heath could feel the tension in her muscles "that wasn't your fault. Those were circumstances neither your Dad or I had any control over."

"But if I hadn't been born you and Dad would have gone on to University. Fulfilled your dreams." She trembled in his arms "I owe you so much..."

Squeezing her tight "you don't owe us anything. What we did was done out of love for you and your sister. Don't forget your Dad was pregnant with Lillianna when we were rescued from the bubble universe. We had to grow up fast. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't difficult because it was. I was all of eighteen years old and already a father of two beautiful girls. I would have done anything for you. I still would. No matter how old you get I would sacrifice anything to keep you safe. To make you happy."

Snuggling into his arms she smiled a little "what about your dreams and happiness?"

Chuckling softly "you can read my mind so you'll know I'm telling the truth. I am happy. My family, my kids, my husband make me happy. Yes I had dreams of going to college and if I really wanted to Don would tell me to go but I really don't want to. My real dream was to become a well known famous artist. My disappearance and reappearance eight years later made that happen..."

Sitting up she stared at him surprise "then why were you planning on going to university?"

"Simple," he grinned at her "I wanted to be with your Dad. At the time I hadn't figured out my feelings for him yet. All I knew was I had an opportunity to be near him. " He let his guard done let her touch his mind allowing her excess to everything he kept bottled inside. He watched her frown then smile.

Throwing her arms around him she squealed "Daddy I love you so so much."

"I know," he said quietly looking intently in her eyes "what have you decided?"

"Exactly what you're hoping I'll decide. To go to college. Get a degree. Follow my dreams." She felt his arms squeeze her tight as she kissed his cheek. "I'm going to miss you." she said softly in his ear.

"As will I" he smiled at her "but we can always talk to each other."

Nodding she touched her head "anytime we want and no one needs to know."

Laughing at her he nodded "anytime sweet heart." He stood up pulling her up with him "I love you." 

He pulled her close "you'll always be my little girl."

"I know" she smiled impishly up at him

***

Two weeks later she sitting beside Gwen on the airplane on their way to University. She blinked several times trying to keep the tears from falling. "You're going to be ok sweet heart," she smiled upon hearing Heath's voice inside her head. They had an open line of communication that neither one wanted to close. It was comforting to know that whenever she needed him he'd he there in her mind cheering her on. There were moments between them when one or the other closed the door in their heads. Moments requiring privacy. Moments Heath shared her Dad. Moments she would rather not be a part of as she was sure Heath would rather not be a part of when she ever met someone she wanted to be intimate with. She just liked knowing he was there. A comforting presence inside her mind as she was to him. A bond she hoped to share with her baby brother when he was older. 

Gwen leaned over excitement bright in her light blue eyes "can you believe we're finally independent young women. We can do whatever we want. Whenever we want."

Looking at her cousin Kimberly laughed releasing the anxiety and nervousness she felt. "You sound like the proverbial I am woman hear me roar."

Nodding Gwen grabbed her hand "that's exactly how I feel." Both girls dissolved into fits of giggles causing several passengers to either frown in annoyance or grin in amusement at them. Sobering some Gwen whispered "did you tell our dad's goodbye?"

"Of course I did," she rolled her eyes at her.

"You don't have to get all huffy about it," Gwen crossed her arms looking out the window pouting.

"Well it was a stupid question," Kimberly retorted staring straight ahead as the plane took them further from their homes.

***

Four hours later they were staring up at their new home. "It looks awful" Gwen complained unimpressed with the house their parents had rented for them.

"It'll be great," Kimberly enthused.

"It'll be boring," Gwen complained "if we were in a sorority or even a dorm we'd be around people, parties and..."

"We're here to learn not have have fun," Kimberly shot her cousin a severe look.

"Why can't we have both?" she moaned following Kimberly inside the house. "Ugh it's even worse than I imagined."

Kimberly had to admit it was pretty bad. "Sweetie how is the house?" Heath intruded upon her thoughts.

"It's... she paused not sure how to describe the place without hurting anyones feelings.

"That bad huh?" Heath laughed in her mind "sorry sweet heart. Your Dad tried."

"I know but maybe next term you'll let us pick out the house?" she left her statement as a question knowing Heath would do his best to make it happen.

"I'll suggest it," Heath sighed "if  you need anything to make the current place more bearable don't hesitate to charge whatever you need."

"Thanks Daddy," she smiled sweetly turning to Gwen "Daddy says we can get whatever we need to improve the place."

"Oh good," she tossed her things on the floor "let's go shopping."

"We can't" Kimberly told her "we need to sit down and figure out what we need and ..."

Groaning Gwen flopped onto the ancient couch "boring." She closed her eyes like she were in pain "why can't we just go? Why does everything involve a long drawn out plan and lists?"

"What's wrong with being prepared? Makings lists? Being organized?" Kimberly asked.

"Because it's boring," Gwen sat up exasperated with her cousin "look your my best friend but sometimes your a real drag. If we have the ok to do whatever we want with the place, why not go a little wild? We could really make this place a real party house."

"No" Kimberly's no nonsense firm voice cut the blonds words off. "We're not taking advantage of my Dad's generosity. We're here to learn, to study. That's why our dad's got us our own house so we wouldn't be distracted."

"You have got to be kidding me. Tell my you're joking," Gwen stood up and approached her cousin "we're finally away from our over protective fathers and you still want to play by the rules and be the good girl."

"I am a good girl," Kimberly lifted her chin up refusing to give in to her cousins demands "I intend on getting on education."

"So do I," Gwen snapped "I just don't see why we can't have a little fun while doing it."

"If you want to party you'll have to do it somewhere else," Kimberly told her "this house will be a party free zone. A place to study."

"Whatever" Gwen stormed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Kimberly asked following her outside.

"Orientation," Gwen called over her shoulder.

***

Kimberly followed after Gwen sensing the girls angers but unwilling to relent. She knew if she did their house would be a steady unending string of parties. She was here to learn. She didn't have time to waste on frivolous activities. She walked into the building. The sounds of several students all talking at once assaulting her ears. She would have left if Gwen hadn't grabbed her hand.

"You may not think you need fun but I know better," the girl said "I'll agree to a no party zone if you'll agree to have a little fun."

"Fine," she grumbled wondering what her cousin would drag her to in her never ending quest for fun.

"Good," she smiled dropping her hand in favor of smiling at some guy standing nearby "I'll see you later," she said walking over to the boy.

Shaking her head Kimberly wandered around the building unsure what she was suppose to do. There were a few students pretending to give long winded lectures on subjects it was obvious they knew little if anything of the subject they were talking about. She listened for a few minutes internally shaking her head at their nonsense.

Weaving her way through the students milling around the speaker Kimberly found her way into a brightly lit room. The sudden silence left her feeling like her ears had suddenly stopped working. Her gasp of shock as her eyes fell upon a couple of scientific work stations had her eyes wide with child like wonder.

"Do you like science?" a young male voice spoke behind her.

She turned nodding surprised anyone was in the room she thought was empty. She turned looking into the friendly green eyes of a dark haired boy standing behind her. "I do," she smiled at him "My Grandfather had one of these in what we called his lab."

"Cool" he smiled flashing his straight white teeth at her "maybe you can help me." He moved towards the nearest machine.

Following him she noticed how he hesitated unsure what he was doing. Without saying a word she reached over and turned it on. Shaking his head he looked up at her "I've been staring at this thing for over an hour trying to figure out how to turn it on. You just do it without even looking."

Shrugging she moved away "like I said before my grandfather had one in his lab. I've watched him work and asked all kinds of questions." She smiled at the memories. The days she had spent with both her Grandpa Adam and Great Grandpa Peter. Listening to them discuss the best way to close the bubble universes for good trapping Silver inside them forever. She wanted nothing more than to know Silver couldn't come back and hurt her or her family ever again. That was the driving force behind why she wanted to become a scientist. She wasn't gong to rest until Silver was gone forever.

Moving aside the boy waved a hand towards the machine "care to give me a lesson since you know how to operate this thing?"

***

A couple of hours later she was still alone with the boy answering his questions and demonstrating how to do things. "Are you here to get a science degree?" she asked.

"No music," the way he said it he sounded so serious. Shrugging he gave her a rueful grin "my parents want me to become a concert pianist. I've been able to play since before I could walk." He got a far away look in his eyes "don't get me wrong I love my parents but they don't understand why I don't share their dream." He looked towards the floor inhaling deeply "I wish I could make them understand."

She reached over touching his arm "what is your dream then?"

Giving her a shy reticent look "you're going to think I'm crazy. Why would anyone want to be a boring old scientist when they could be famous instead?"

"Is that your dream? To be a scientist?" she stared at him intently. She was drawn to this quiet, self-deprecating young man who was pursuing a fine arts degree in music for his parents when he would rather be knee deep in research.

"Yes, yes it is," his quiet voice held conviction that stirred something deep within her. "While all of my friends were reading comic books I was reading Science Digest. My hero's were scientists like Henry Van Winkle and his son Peter. The entire family is something pretty special." He stopped talking watching her eyes as they grew large in surprise "did I say something wrong?"

"No it's just that" she took a deep breath. She knew sooner or later someone would mention her family. She feared that everyone would assume she would use her family connections to get ahead in the scientific community. She couldn't keep her identity a secret and she didn't want to. She was proud of her family and their accomplishments. Taking a deep breath she said "it's just that the Van Winkle's they're family, my family. I'm ....Kimberly Van Winkle...."

"You're you're" he stammered recalling how he gushed about his hero's "I...I must look like such an idiot to you. Wasting your time.." his mouth snapped shut as he turned and fled from the room.

"No wait," she called after him.

***

She watched him flee from the room unable to stop him. He would have found out sooner or later who she was. It was better he heard it from her. Shutting everything down as she was taught how to do she left the facility. Walking back to the small house she was going to call home more depressed then she'd been in a while. She concentrated on blocking her unhappiness from her min not wanting Heath to know how bad her first day from home was going.

Walking into the dark house she knew Gwen was till at orientation. No doubt finding the fun she so desired. Taking advantage of the quiet Kimberly got undressed stepping into the shower without thinking. The blast of ice cold water from the shower head had her jumping from the stall screaming in shock. Grabbing a towel she wrapped it around herself shivering while she waited for the water to heat up. Her mind drifted to the boy she met that evening.

His green eyes so kind and shy. He had put her at ease almost from the start. Most of the boys she had met in high school had either teased her for having two dads or ignored her for being the nerdy girl. There had been the few who thought they could use her to get a good grade. They soon learned she wasn't that naive.

Standing under the water she tried to wipe her mind clear of the green eyed boy. She didn't even know his name. Just that he was a boy who wanted to be a scientist but couldn't because he wanted to please his parents. Why hadn't she asked him his name? It never even occurred to her. Was that an example of what Gwen had accused her of being? Was she aloof? Did she think she was better than everyone else?

Feeling sad, lonely an hurt she crawled into bed. Bring her knees to her chest she felt the tears spill from her eyes wishing her Daddy was there to hold her, to comfort her...."Sweet h heart one day you'll meet someone you can connect with. I promise it will happen." Heath's voice drifted into her mind. Calming her wounded spirit. 

"I know Daddy," she whimpered "I just thought ...."

"I know baby. Give him time. He might surprise you," Heath advised her.

"Ok Daddy," she smiled wiping her eyes dry "I love you."

"I love you too baby girl," he said "good night sweetie. Tomorrow will be a better day."

She closed her eyes letting his voice soothe her frayed nerves. She must have been more upset then she realized to let her guard down allowing Heath to hear her thoughts. It didn't matter she had so few secrets and none she didn't share with him. She was glad he was there. Always there ready and willing to help when she needed him.