Generation 2, Chapter 6 - What Hurts the Most

What Hurts the Most

Coming home that summer was difficult for Adam who immediately took the job at Gaming Central. He worked long hours trying to save enough money to buy a house for himself and Windy.

One evening Adam came home late after forgetting his promise to be home early for the twins birthday party. As he opened the front door he was unprepared to be confronted with a ton of people. Resisting the urge to turn around and leave, Adam pasted a smile on his face trying to appear like he was enjoying himself.

Watching the twins grow into adorable toddlers, Adam couldn't help but imagine when his unborn child would be that age. Sighing softly he turned and slowly descended the stairs, seeking solitude, a place where he could hear himself think.

Entering the lab, Adam sat in front of the computer pulling up available real estate for Appaloosa Plains. Nothing was available in his price range that was large enough to accommodate two adults and a baby. Turning the computer off he sat for a moment staring at the screen before getting up. He turned to find that is Dad had followed him.

"Son what's wrong?" Peter asked concerned that he was in trouble, hoping he could help.

"Nothing," Adam mumbled looking down at his feet unable to meet his father's eyes.

"Adam I know something's wrong. Let me try and help."

Getting up Adam paced a few steps away. Looking around the room he heard the echoes of memories and dreams he once had. Adam crossed his arms, sighed deeply he wondered where that idealistic young boy had gone. He just felt so old and alone. Lifting his head he looked straight at his Dad, wishing he could unload all his problems on him. The past year had been difficult and Adam was still shocked at the transformation in his Dad's physical appearance. Swallowing over the lump in his throat he managed to say "Dad you've got enough to deal with. I can handle this."

"Adam my health may be failing ...."

"You're dying!" Adam blurted out in anger and frustration.

"Don't you think I know that?" Peter retorted giving vent to his own anger at the injustices that led up to this. Taking a deep breath he visibly wrestled his anger down. "It doesn't stop me from being your father. Don't shut me out."

Hanging his head Adam shoved his hands into his pockets. "Dad I've made so many mistakes." Lifting his eyes he looked at his father and was comforted by the understanding and concern his father had in his eyes.

"Son we all make mistakes. It's what we do afterwards that matters."

"I know but what if our decisions effect others?"

"What are you driving at? Does this have anything to do with you quitting college?"

Shrugging Adam said "Kind of." Once again he let his eyes wander around the room. He smiled sadly while staring at the chemistry table. All those hours making potions, finding just the right one. He wandered if he would have done it if he knew what was in store for him.

As if reading his mind Peter asked "Does this have to do with Windy? You haven't talked about what happened between you two."

Grunting softly Adam said "I was thinking that if I had known then what I know now I would never have used my potion on her. What bothers me the most is that she has no real appreciation for what I did for her. How much I loved her!"

"Sometimes son the only thing you can do is let go. I'm sure in her way she appreciates it, just not enough to be the person you want. People change and grow apart."

"I know," Adam said "but what really hurts, Dad, is that she didn't tell me. She let me believe she loved me, wanted to marry me and all along she was in love with someone else. Why couldn't she just tell me the truth?"

"I don't know son," Peter said quietly putting his hand on Adam's shoulder wishing he could do something to ease his pain.

Swallowing hard over the bitterness in his mouth his voice rough Adam continued "The really awful part of all of this is she's pregnant."

Peter squeezed Adam's shoulder telling himself not to get his hopes up and yet he couldn't help but hope. Oh god this child might be the one Emit descended from and if Emits' ancestry line is preserved than ... Peter realized Adam was still talking as he tuned back in "Dad I don't even know if it's mine."

Feeling as if the rug had just been pulled out from under him Peter started to breath fast and hard. Trying to control his emotions Peter asked "Is there some doubt to who the father is?"

"Yeah Windy wasn't exactly faithful the entire time we were together. It could be mine. Windy says it is but I don't entirely believe her. I thought I was being careful but there were times I might have forgotten...."

"Adam ...."

"Yeah I know, you don't have to say it. Unfortunately I wasn't dealing with what I suspected about Windy cheating and you being sick again. I did a lot of drinking." Looking up he said "I'm sorry Dad for making such a mess."

Hugging his son Peter said "It's ok son, we'll figure this out together. What are your plans for the baby?"

"I took the job I was offered at Gaming Central. I'm looking for a house..."

"You can stay hear. We can help you with the baby."

Shaking his head "I suggested that but Windy was adamant about not living here. I don't want her moving out on her own, at least not until the baby is born."

"You don't think she'd harm the baby, do you?"

"I don't know. She wants to be free to do as she pleases. Scot, her boyfriend refuses to have anything to do with her until after the baby is born. I agreed to care for her and the baby and part of that bargain is buying a house." Running his hands through his hair "I just don't know how I'm going to manage it. There's nothing I can afford."

Shaking Adam's shoulder until he was sure he had his attention Peter said "you find a suitable house and I'll give you the money to buy it."

"Dad you can't," Adam protested.

"I can and will" Peter said firmly.

Smiling in relief Adam hugged his Dad. "Thank you. I don't know what I'll do without you."

"Maybe with a little luck you won't have to," Peter mumbled.

"What was that Dad? I didn't quite hear what you said."

"I'm just happy I could help."

The following month Adam found a small house on a large lot close to downtown. In time he hoped to renovate the house and make it larger later on. The night they planned to move into their new house was Brian's birthday. For Adam it was a bittersweet night, watching his little brother become an adult and himself moving out of the family home. Adam hoped Brian accomplished all his goals unlike himself whose goals had been derailed for eternity.

"Hey Brian welcome to the wonderful world of adulthood," Adam attempted to joke.

"Thanks Adam."

"What are your plans?"

"I'm giving piano lessons to little rug rats. It's not exciting but it gives me plenty of time to write my own music."

"Ever think about going to college?"

Shrugging Brian said "Not really. I know Dad's disappointed but I don't feel I need to. What's the benefit?"

"Well you might meet someone. After all college will give you an opportunity to meet different people."

"I thought about that but I want to ..." Glancing across the room he smiled sadly in the direction of their Dad "I want to be close to home when the end comes."

Clasping his brother's shoulder Adam sighed "I feel the same way. I wish there was something we could do."

"Me too! I wonder why Emit hasn't shown up like he did before?"

"Maybe he can't," Adam suggested. Stopping he looked at Brian trying to decide the best way to broach the subject he had on his mind.

"Out with it, Adam"

"What?" Adam asked off guard.

"Whatever you want to ask and are afraid too. You've been staring at me, so either spit it out or stop staring."

Chuckling a little Adam asked "What have you decided about Pat?"

"Nothing really," Brian sighed deeply, "for a while I thought I would give her the potion and make her real for helping us find Elliot and Dad. Somehow it just feels wrong. I don't know. I just feel that Pat would be better off in her own world. She was a good friend but what I want is something real and she can't give me that."

"I wish I had realized that before ..." Adam fell silent as Windy walked past.

"I'm sorry Adam. I really am." Brian said clasping his shoulder. "Just don't let Windy convince you that she loves you now that Scot wants nothing to do with her. You know she's going to pressure you into marrying her."

Adam laughed ruefully wondering when his brother had gotten so smart.

"Don't laugh. You know Windy thinks your a pushover. She's good at manipulating people." Squeezing Adam's arm Brian said "Don't let her. She's brought you enough pain. I'm serious Adam. As soon as that baby's born, get a DNA test, sue for custody and for goodness sakes kick Windys' butt to the curb."

Adam just looked at Brian wondering where all this was coming from. Smiling Brian continued "If you ever try and make another imaginary friend real I'll personally kick your ass."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna bet?" Brian said seriously

"Ok, ok I don't need to be told twice. Once was enough. I've learned by lesson."

"Good! See that you remember it. I'd hate to have to live up to my threat."

The next couple of hours flew by and it was soon time for Adam to leave. With a heavy heart he collected his few remaining items and collected Windy to go to their small house. As much as Adam insisted on getting single beds Windy insisted they'd have more room if they had only one bed. He lay there in the dark listening to Windy breath beside him. The next five months were going to test his will power.

Adam came home from work one evening to find Windy sitting on the couch watching TV. This wasn't unusual but this time the house was clean and she had supper waiting for him. Eyeing Windy uneasily Adam sat down to eat.

"So what's the occasion?"

"Just thought you might like a break when you got home. You've been working so hard."

"Thank you," Adam mumbled eating the dry overcooked meal but at least he hadn't had to cook it himself. His days had become a procession of working all day to come home to clean the house and cook the meals. All the while Windy sat and watched TV.

Adam busied himself with cleaning the dishes and putting the leftovers away. He dreaded the thought of having to eat that slop again but knew they couldn't afford to throw it away. Finishing Adam made his way to the stairs when he was stopped by Windy.

 

"Why don't you join me?" Windy called after him.

Halting halfway up the stairs Adam sighed. He knew if he declined her invitation it would start off a fight and he just didn't have the energy. As soon as he sat down Windy snuggled into him almost purring as she said "I've missed this."

 

"Don't," Adam began only to be silenced as Windy kissed him.

"Your so tense," Windy muttered as she caressed his neck and shoulders.

 

"Windy we shouldn't," Adam tried again for control as Windy nimbly unbuttoned his shirt. Her touch sent electricity tingling along his nerves and he desperately wanted, needed to feel loved as he responded to her touch. God forgive him as he gave into desire. As he rolled her over he looked into her eyes. She smiled slyly up at him. It was like being doused in cold water, all his desire bled from his body as he got up and ran from the house.

He ran for several miles before slowing down to catch is breath. Looking up he realized he had ran home. He so badly wanted to go through those doors and ask for help. He resisted the temptation to knock on the door. He stood there shivering in the chilly night air, realizing he wanted a place to hide, someone to take this weight from his shoulders, god he just needed a drink.

On impulse he continued to jog around Appaloosa hoping by the time he made his way back his lust for Windy would be purged from his system and his need for a drink would be gone, leaving him with nothing but the desire to sleep. He didn't know how much more he could take and he knew that it was going to take all his reserves to withstand Windy's advances.